Only recently did I finally swim into the big pond. And boooy was I a small fish!
I've been swimming in my little pond of youth theatre and school productions for a couple of years now and last week, I auditioned for an adult company for the first time. I walked in and holy crap. "What did I get myself into??!!" I thought, panicking slightly. The lady in the audition room was really good. And so was the guy after her. And the chick after him. AHHH. For almost an hour, I was in the waiting room across the audition room, seeing everyone, hearing everyone and being the youngest person there!
I hadn't slept the night before either because of school due dates and my voice was not in the best shape. I stupidly let it affect me and I pulled myself back during the performance. Dumb choice on my part. I received some positive feedback from the panel which softened my self-critical blow...
Just a few hours ago, I got a call saying I had made it into the ensemble! I'm grateful to have been cast at all so I'm glad.
Now, I know I'm in the danger of sounding like an ego-centric diva here but...I have always played a principal role in all the youth shows I've done. It's different being under "Ensemble" in the program. I am not suggesting at all that I think I'm better than anyone else but a part of me is disappointed (especially since this is a show where it was possible to have had some sort of role). I've developed a pretty thick skin over the years which protects me from the harshest of criticism but not "ensemble". So I'm glad I'm part of the ensemble now. I'm lucky to have had sugar-coated beginnings---which I wouldn't exchange for the world---but I'm so thankful for this show.
The Uni-verse probably got the sense that I was being spoiled and beginning to slack off sometimes (alarm bells! NOT GOOD!). The world is fighting the actor's ego!! I'm sure there's plenty of that around already...
I definitely needed this little fish opportunity and I feel lucky to be performing alongside those same talented people I overheard from the waiting room.
What are your thoughts? Your "reality" moment?
What are your thoughts? Your "reality" moment?
- Get It Girl x
(Note to self: Really keep that ego in check. Sometimes, it grows without you realising.)
Mood: Content.
Music: We're in the Money - 42nd Street [Original Broadway Cast Recording]
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